shit I need a vacation from my self...

I am really going to schedule my nervous breakdown for this week. I have been avoiding it for too long, too busy, too tired I just need to put it on my schedule and get the fucking thing over with.  Last week was me going to hell in an airplane.  I took Kai to cumberland.  Shit not at the last minute or anything.  on monday I am walking Tiger to camp and get a call at 9:30 a.m. telling me if Kai is not at Cumberland by 8a.m. Tues he can't be in the program.  FUCK on friday I was told to chill out and wait for Cumberland to get the "special #" to be able to be a Vermont Medicaide provider.  I had planned to get Kai (he was still at Brattleboro Retreat!) on sunday afternoon and fly out sunday to be at THE SCHEDULED 8a.m. for monday.  Three ring fucking circus.  I am a mess all weekend wondering what is /how is and when is this going to fall into place.  so me on monday racing home, guzzling coffee and packing Kai's stuff.  I had a plan formulated:  call Richard tosee if he could be my co-pilot, gas, smokes and water.  so I get Richard and at 11:20 we hit the highway like a bat outta hell and whew!!! I made record time to the sucky hole that is The Retreat.  my boy so handsome and nervous about flying for the first time.  We are 50 min. from the airport tickets have not been booked yet and I am losing my mind. The flight is at 5:40 and check in at 4:45. We arrive at 4:48, A deep breath and pep talk later I am being felt up by airport security( b/c of all my jewelry0.  Kai was a dream on the fight just sweet and loving and cooperative.  We flew over NYC and had our lay over at Laguardia. This was the most amount of time we have spent together since March.  Kai & I laughed our heads off watching a security guard eating a variety of stuff from the garbage and off tables.  He was sucking the ketchup out of packages and finishing fries and burgers.  WE were sooo hungry Kai wanted tuna $9.00!!! for a prepackaged tuna sandwich. 12 bucks for a burger. damn weate good old cheap McDonalds.  Oh and when I discharged Kai from Brattle boro they forgot  to tell me about Kai's ear infection they were treating him for.  So as we land in Virginia he is in sooo much pain those fuckers they report me to DCF for giving Kai a snack so he doesn't get low blood sugar but fail to let me know he has an ear infection.  Rant time:  so yeah one time when I went to visit Kai I took him out in town and they said I was not allowed to feed him and well as we were walking around he was feeling low so I gave him a snack and let the nurse at Bratt. know and they reported me to DCF.ok so I will continue my ranting at a later time.  I care not at all if anyone reads this.  It is totally self serving to get this stuff out of my head and make room for the beauty that follows....