Food Stamps? I wish...

God forbid you find yourself gainfully employed. If your waaaay over the poverty line at a whopping 10 bucks an hour you can pay your rent and utilities and then mooch dinner off your food stamp mama friends. I will be taking applications for 'hostess' positions and I will have work for all your school age children marketing my own independent line of recreational pharmaceuticals. I know, I know, but I've tried everything else and I have to pay off those school loans somehow....